Early Life (1900-1930) Edit
In 1900, on a farm in Arizona, John Lemonade was born to John Lemonade IV, and his wife, Princess Adelheid of Schleswig-Holstein, which by blood makes him and his son Fun Bug German Royalty. Nothing is known about Mr. Lemonades past until his graduation from College in 1915, because he was like a genius.
In the winter of 1916, he met his love, Sarah Beth Bug, a strange anthropomorphic Bug-Lady, who looked pretty. They were married the next day, for keks i believe. By 1920, he was living in a large home, with his wife, and his son, Fun Bug, born that year. The next year, he founded Lemonade Inc. It was his stepping stone to success. The thing that kept him safe was that he never invested in the market, and he never became an IPO. This is why he kept his fortune in the crash of 1929. By 1930, he was the second richest man in America.
President of Lemonade Inc. (1930-1942) Edit
The story goes John Lemonade went into a fountain on a hot summer day. He wanted an ice cold cup of lemonade, and what he got tasted like the shit from a dead rabbit. He vowed from that day, he would make the best lemonade in the world, to save children from ever having to taste that garbage that can barely be called a liquid ever again.
The Lemonade Lemonade process is as follows. You take the Lemonade Estate grown lemons, and you crush them with detail and care. You then add half a tablespoon of Lemonade brand cane sugar, and then you let it sit in the Lemonade Arctic Cooler for 3 days, and wham, gold.
This was put on every single can of lemonade made by John Lemonade, and it paid off. He had the best selling Lemonade of the 1930's, and beyond. By 1937, he was the richest man in America, and by 1939, he was the 5th richest man on earth. He only enjoyed his new found status for a couple of years, as one mean old Japanese decided he wanted to bomb pearl harbor, and BAM... World War II.
Th' Great War Pt. 2 (1942-1945) Edit
John Lemonade was drafted in 1942, and sent to Europe in 1943. He wanted to get them Nazis at all costs and he did, because he was eventually made General of The Army. He fought in some of the most intense battles in World War II, and luckily he made it out. He got sent home in 1944, and went right back to work, making